Surviving

Well since I last wrote I have had 3 whole body scans and have been sitting on the edge of my seat.The results came in today. I did have some uptake that was to show where the cancer would still be residing, well there were several areas of uptake (lighting up)in my neck that could turn out they may be physiologic ie. NORMAL. and if they are not normal then we must rely on the radioactive isotope to continue to kick its ass. I will go in and have some blood work done that looks at my cancer marker Tg thyroid globulin levels and hope it goes down to zero or trace levels only, it is at 19. If it stays up or goes up from zero we will know it is back or still persisting and deal with that hand of cards later. I feel like I can let out my breath and sigh relief. AHHHHHH

I am laying in bed with my 2 boys and dog and Ray and have a nice glass of red and my computer and I feel super at peace. I was so stressed and didn't really know how much until I just started reflecting. I may turn to jello now with this bit behind me. I am still not so sharp with my mental faculties, and that may not let up. I do know enough that I have been lucky and others have things so much harder. Others have things easier and already appreciate their fortune, I did need some adversity to come to my conclusions, I am a slow learner sometimes.

I have been so blessed to have a large support group that said magical words when I needed them and was able to laugh when I was obsessing about my bowels. I tries to be stoic and not let my guard down but found lots of comfort. People from my past reconnected and made me feel like the world was really a small place and that we are all connected and it is an amazing coincidence that we are all alive at the same time and can reach each other still.

Its a good night.