Thursday, January 28, 2010

Achy breaky bones.

Its now 15 days onthe Wii fitness and using the Biggest Loser Wii game, I am so sore due to the floating lunges and sitting squats, it all burns so where is my weight loss? I avoided dessert last night and baked cookies today for work and only ate one and I haven't had a glass of wine in days....I should say day. I should probably recieve a medal instead of a change on my scale, but is one pound too much to ask for? I will go pee one more time and weigh myself right after AGAIN and hope for a change. Be right back...

I leave in alittle more than 3 weeks and I hope this blog and my followers will hold me accountable. I mean business now. I'm "going to the mattresses". I do think if I post a near naked before picture of me I may scare myself into a new body form. When I was younger I would run on my treadmill naked infront of a mirror and where I saw wiggly parts I just worked harder...but that was in my own home and not everything was so lets say. ..loose and baggy. But I am now horrified to do such an "experiment" now and that treadmill did become a large clothes hanger to me and began to collect dust and has since found a new loving home .

I will hope to get better nights rest, I will dream of exercise and may wake sore again. I hear if you don't sleep well you can't lose weight. HUMMMM I do tell my 3 yr old son he will never grow tall if he doesn't go right to bed, since we grow in our sleep, ever see anyone grow right before your eyes? No they do it in their sleep (I think) Its a momism. Hopefully my youngest will learn to sleep through the night or at least only wake up every other hour. I swear he hates me. Or he hates sleep. Or he loves me so much he doesn't need sleep.
Well good night I'm beat.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Reflective, not just a shiny surface.

Its now been 11 days onthe Wii fitness and I have having trouble finding the time for myself until after 9pm, and all I really want to do is drink wine and get into a vegitative state and pat myself on the back for another day survived. Alais I am at a stand still of 10 pounds lost and think it has everything to do with the 2 slices of pizza and chocolate ice cream called Mooses Tracks that my husband insists on calling "Moose Knuckles" which is our unfavorable term for a really bad case of "camel toe" ie. big girl in a little pant. I will avoid that by wearing baggy clothes.
It is time to be reflective since I have made that part of this journey. I has an encounter with a non peer at my work and now am brooding over an exchange that happened several days ago. Did she imply it? Did she actually say it? Yeah she actually said it. She thinks I am bitchy. Wow that doesn't feel like me. Im not sure her opinion matters, but it takes up space in this head of mine, I am letting it rattle around inthere until its becoming larger.I will admit something....not everyone likes me. Ouch that even hurts to write. Really some don't like me..Why? I am great, my mom says so. I will now surround myself with worthy people and project the image of the person I think I am..not neccesarily a taller person but standing more upright than my 5 foot 1 frame and I will be kind.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Laughter is the best medicine..

well not when you have a cold, you need a great cough suppressant and very little laughter or your bladder will leak. To be an aging women, I hear this issue will affect 80% of women and some will actually fall apart a the seams down there.
Today I spent a large part of my day laughting and to the point of tears and not always at the expense of others. Boy I was in a mood and I was as contagious as H1N1 or poison ivy as toilet paper on a camping trip. I laughed my butt off...well it made me wonder how many calories did I burn giggling and can I actually laugh the cellulite off my butt? Am I so jolly ( a fat word) since my BMI approaches 30? That can't be healthy.
Tomorrow I will burn more calories and not consider a laughing fit a work out, but at times I couldn't catch my breath and I hardly leaked at all. I hope happy means healthy and healthy means happy or I will wonder why I am up to all this.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Life ias like a box of chocolates...

I call BS, life is like a whole fruit pie, every wedge a facet of my life. There is a large slice as a mom, another as a wife, a larger slice as a worker, tiny slice devoted to my health, good slice given to my social calender and probably another slice to something I haven't pondered but I bet its a good slice too., and religion is tiny. I know swearing to God does not constitute a prayer, I am sure I would have found God more quickly in the face of adversity but I have been blessed and more so ignorant. As I mature (40) I will make more time for my higher power even though I do make the sign of the cross when I see an ambulance or fire truck...there before the grace of God go I. It still makes me feel selfish. I will gracefully cram it down the throats of my children in perochial school as I would like them to be faithful, righteous and humble stewards of the far better people than I.
This is a time to make health less filling in my pie and something more substancial. I will try to balance my "pie" ...I mean life. I will care about my future longevity so that I can fret about my wrinkles while above ground. I will try and find joy in connecting the dots of my age spots and try to see vericose veins as a path to my happy place. Okay maybe this has gotten away from me but I will become a healthier me and start this journey by making a proper salad for lunch and pass up the amazing mac and cheese a family friend made yesterday, that has the shiney gelatineous layer of greesy cheese resting atop it.
I am going to think about my pie more...not that pie, and balance it out.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Journey day #1

This technology is far to advanced and impersonal for me to navigate, so have patience as I develope my skills along the way.
I am on a count down to my 40th birthday. 34 days until I am offically the adult that is relatively old and still tries to hang with those young kids and tries to talk the hip talk and wants so desperately to be seen as "cool" oh I mean "kool"
I am a work horse that seems to always find time to work more, take more call at the local hospitals, and it is becoming too much apart of my personality, its too much me. Still I do it and then run home to become the perfect mom that can bake cookies for the school teachers and do arts and crafts when other kids come over for a play date so that I appear the Super Mom that makes this look easy. But is this the real me? I will still clean the house before the maid comes because I am a dirty slob. This might be the real me.
This journey has me on the road to weight loss also, the baby belly that now resembes Santas bowl full of jelly. I leave 2 days after my B-Day and go to the Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge in Utah far from my husband, children and wine collection.
I see myself as a 25 year old not this aging lady that can't have the smart ass attitude because I don't have the hot looks to carry off a bad personality anymore. Boy those were the days. Boobs that suluted the sun and a sarcastic wit. AHHH to be young and full of myself again. I fear that is long gone even as I shed the pounds.
Lets see how this all rolls out shall we.