Saturday, August 14, 2010

To chase the elusive "easy life".....

I claim this sunset as my own, I have watched it and praised it's beauty and it should belong to me. This view is no longer my own, we have sold our house, the one I love. I am in pursuit of "ease". I want to work less and be me more. I want my kids to remember me around....not so round. I have no time for the pursuits that I think will keep me sane and sound. I need to find and fight for the path that is right.. not expected and easy.
I wake at midnight last night to see my boys piled ontop of each other, it must be an instint to seach for touch and comfort even when not conscience of it. We yearn for closeness, its what is important.. this may hold all the keys to the answers we search for.
I saw a video of children being reunited with their parents away due to military committments, I was brought to tears that such small children can be scarred when their support and love are away. I would think a small 2 yr old wouldn't conceptualize time like an adult but when a girl said I love you and I missed you to a father that has been gone, it breaks my spirit. My freedom and patriotism are great..but could I survive on only my love of family?why YES I could. We choose not to sacrifice and of course it would feel bad. I know I was raised in a feel good world and we find pathes that are smooth and the pebbles washed away but I don't mind being a rock collector.
Todays entry is scattered, as my mind has been of late, I am a juggler that is "women" we must think and think and plan and plan until be are spent, then we may sleep to dream of our new futures. To throw worries to the wind to be cleared away by a greater God is hopeful and a prayer I will make but I must worry about that too...yet I still feel cleansed.
I will meet you here again if you are so entertained and will let my mind dance again.

1 comment:

  1. I miss boogie-ing with that wondrous mind of yours!!