Journey day #1

This technology is far to advanced and impersonal for me to navigate, so have patience as I develope my skills along the way.
I am on a count down to my 40th birthday. 34 days until I am offically the adult that is relatively old and still tries to hang with those young kids and tries to talk the hip talk and wants so desperately to be seen as "cool" oh I mean "kool"
I am a work horse that seems to always find time to work more, take more call at the local hospitals, and it is becoming too much apart of my personality, its too much me. Still I do it and then run home to become the perfect mom that can bake cookies for the school teachers and do arts and crafts when other kids come over for a play date so that I appear the Super Mom that makes this look easy. But is this the real me? I will still clean the house before the maid comes because I am a dirty slob. This might be the real me.
This journey has me on the road to weight loss also, the baby belly that now resembes Santas bowl full of jelly. I leave 2 days after my B-Day and go to the Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge in Utah far from my husband, children and wine collection.
I see myself as a 25 year old not this aging lady that can't have the smart ass attitude because I don't have the hot looks to carry off a bad personality anymore. Boy those were the days. Boobs that suluted the sun and a sarcastic wit. AHHH to be young and full of myself again. I fear that is long gone even as I shed the pounds.
Lets see how this all rolls out shall we.