Life interupts my life.

Well I am now back it will be 2 weeks tomorrow and I have exercised ONCE. It was for over an hour which at the time went very fast. I am now feeling much better as far as the aches and pains the swelling is gone in the achilles and my knees are knocking to get out and exercise. In due time I will get out there.

I now have some clarity as to the me I am to be...drum roll please. In the 2 weeks back I have had 4 Drs visits for my 2 sons. I was told ear infection for both kids and further evaluations needed for Pierce the 9 month old for strabismus, (lazy eye) I now notice it in the pictures, maybe he will wear an eye patch and say ARRG, hopefully not surgery. Little Pierce had a 104 temp last Friday and I had to leave work, it lasted for about 24 hours it would not break. Today I was called from work that Byron the 4 yr old was having a seizure at school for 10 minutes and the ambulance was taking him to Childrens. He hadn't had a febrile seizure in 2 yrs and I thought we were done with that.These boys don't care that my pants fit tight they just want to be loved and held when they hurt and I know that is my main priority and I am lucky to have this as my job at hand.

Byron said he thought my legs looked smaller and wanted to see my boobs, just to see if they were still big, he doesn't get that the weight lose I want and need should make all of me smaller. God love the boys, thin legs and big boobs, they don't need much more and I guess it starts early. I have lost 2 more pounds while at home but found myself today wanting "Chipolte" veggie bowl with a whole bag of chips since I had such a rough day, lets see how much wine I need tonight? Probably none since I will be watching every breath Byron takes tonight.

This is my life for infant and toddlerhood of my boys and I am fine with that for now.

Day 14 Home Sweet Home

I survivied. I did my last stop sign yesterday and with the injuries I finished 1 hour 9 minutes, alittle slower but I am still pleased.I did my test out before the 6 mile trek and still obsessed about the pounds when I know my shape is changing. I lost 2 more pounds. I really believed that a big number would appear as my measurement of success. I began to feel much better when the tape measurer came out.

Here are the stats.

4.1 pounds lost.

Chest 2.75 inches lost.

Belly 4.25 inches lost.

Hips 2.25 inches lost.

Thigh 1.5 inches lost.

Calf .25 inches lost.

Arm .5 inches lost.

Body fat 1.8% lost.

BMI .8 lost.

I am pleased as I slipped into my jeans they fit nicely and I walked with a little more confindence through the airport. I choose to go home a day early and surprise the fam.

Okay the first thing I did is I went right to a lounge and had a celebratory glass of wine. Ahh. It was strong and I am certain I was a cheap date, even though alone. The shuttle ride to Vegas I dreamed of all the food I could eat nothing sounded good or did it all sound good?

First stop when home was to go to our friends Jim and Robin's house to fetch our Byron, they helped out so much, it must have been hard work having 3 boys. I knew a glass of wine would be waiting for me and I obsessed about the lecture I went to where I was reminded not to drink my calories. I has only water and tea for 2 weeks. Pierce wouldn't smile at me for about a half hour, maybe he forgot me or maybe I looked too thin. Byron was surprised for about 2 seconds then went on to play with his buddy Max and Jake.

I woke up and took Byron out to the doughnut store and had a whole wheat bagel and BIG cup o' coffee. Wow my new lifestyle, I didn't even take a bite of his maple filled doughnut.

Tonight my first dinner I made the chicken parmesan I learned how to cook at one of the demos, it was so good and I had to have Annemarie and Rob and kids over as a thank you for all their help while I was away, she brough over several meals and t.hey made me feel so comfortable that everyone was well taken care of. I am so thankful for everyones help Kim took Byron out shopping at Target his most favorite place in the world , he takes after me. Mom babysat little Pierce too. We had a new babysitter that was wonderful too and I am grateful.

I did put down a deposit for another stay at the ranch because it was such a great and empowering "trip", I would never call it a vacation since it was so much more. I have yet to tell Ray this. They do have a special if you say I referred you, you get $100.00 off and so do I. We could do this together. I did wish some of my friends could have gone through this with me to have felt what I felt, but this time my journey was best served on my own. I was able to depend on strangers to be my support and they rose to the challenge, what great people my paths have crossed. I am truely blessed.

Day 12 Me and my skinny shadow.

Todays hike was Camelback and it was very challenging due to my injuries but I heard it was beautiful so I had to limp along and it proved worth the trip.

This hike was only 4 miles and difficult due to the lava rock and lactolithes and you can see the cinder cone inthe background. The hike then became more sandstone and sand and the gang rocked it.

This picture is our starting point and you can see the 2 small mounds inthe center of the picture, look hard its the furthest thing... thats camelback and we hiked to it. It seemed impossible when we started but so does surviving on less than 1200 calories so really its not that bad.

Here we are at a vortex that has water at the bottom but made for a super cool shadow shot, see the skinny mini with sass in her hips????Thats me.

This is one hump of Camelback and thats the gang on it. I was freaking out and thought it too high. Can you believe we went that far? I swear we can do anything.

The mad rush off this high peak, It looks so cool. Well that was the first 2 1/2 hours of my day. The to the pool which was perfect. AHHHH I swear I consider it my bath for the day now that I believe its my sweat I taste in it. EWWW Im kidding.

I didn't like the lunch much (chicken stew) so I had toast and 6 almonds and a small salad. Surprisingly I am satisfied. I would have died at home on that and been emmaciated and shaking in the corner on that diet. I am starting to realize food is fuel. Really. Then a lecture about an at home plan for working out.

I had plenty of strength to do 2 cardio curcuit classes and kicked it up to 7 mph onthe treadmill for that last interval. Hard stuff. After that was cardio disco dance jam. OHH I loved it and if I were coordinated I would have relaxed more, The class was called zumba and we did cuban shuffle, lally lally and banged out our bodies. It was funny and sweaty.

Now off to dinner, I can't remember what it is and you would think it would be all I could think about. If I don;t like it I can get a boca burger on sandwich thins for 200 calories. Oh Cherise reminded me its a meatball sandwich. HUM I am wondering how it will look differant from any sandwich I have seen before. This is why I got the cookbook here its amazing what the chef can do. I gotta go eat. Yum.

Tomorrow the stop sign beckons me like a lost lover.

Day 11 It should be heaven.

My favorite trainer, Sharron, yes she rocks and is built like a missle. She kicks my butt in kickboxing and today in treading class, thats where you got balls to the wall for 5 minutes then 5 minute recovery then again hard for 4 minutes and a 4 minute recovery then to 3 minutes etc. I went up to 6.5 on the treadmill until my knee was going to collapse but I am bandaged up with kinesio tape and I don't know if it helped or hurt me more.

Started the day with a 7 mile hike at West Canyon it is so flat and relatively easy yet it was raining and very very windy, thank goodness I had Carrie with me and we chatted the whole 2 hours between shivering and teeth chattering. My favorite was strech after the hike I love that. I had a cooking class today and I will definatly make the meal for Ray when I get home only 300 calories for zucchini soup and chicken parmesan. Yummy. Then to the pool where is was still so windy and dark clouds overhead. I feel like it is a controlled drowning when I am in there which may be euphoric since I loved the class. A dreaded ball workout until my shoulders ached and my arms became spagetti noodle which I should have eaten. sharrons treading class followed and I was hurting so badly but trudged on, then a lecture on menu planning for when I go home. I think it was a good day.

Ended the day with the purchase of a beautiful ring, shopping always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, its almost as good as eating out with friends and laughing hard. I am doing laudry now and it feels like I am home. AWWW I miss doing laundry at home and I miss my boys all 3 of them.

Day 10, I am getting the hang of this on the last rung.

Today I hiked Slots a beautiful and difficult hike about 5 miles or so. this area was inhabited by the Anasazi Indians from 200 AD to 1250AD. Then came the Paiute Indians up until 1800's. Some of these petryglyphs are 1200 yrs old. I wish I knew what they meant.

There were some very narrow passages, and if I could read the writing on the wall, it may have said turn back.

This is Wedding rock with some of us "cool" people, yeah right we were the ones not afraid of heights, since the drop off is deadly. I do think the term "elope" started because the Indians did not want to hike out this far for a ceremony.

Paulette heres your daughter waving to you, boy is this high up.

This is my super cool roommate Cherise, who "rocked' this hike. She wanted to go back from here so Merinda and I went with the guide and we got lost getting back but it made for a really cool trip making our own way through the cactus, rocks and other pokey things.

Okay okay so that was the first 2 hours of my day, then came curcuit class which I preceeded to cry since my knee and achilles hurt so bad while on the treadmill gettingup to 5.5mph. I iced and medicated myself appropriately and continued to open gym and did another 5 miles on the bike all alone not another person in there. Then I had mountain class you go up in speed or intesity every 3 minutes for 13 times. UGHHHHHH. I did another 9 miles. We are not done with the day no way...we had pool class again then kickboxing my absolute favorite. It was sunny and beautiful again today maybe in the 60's. Ahhhh so much better then last week when I had wind burns on my face.

I wrapped my night off with a massage and she skipped over the ears they of course are still fine.

Day 9 I am feeling fine.

Today I am feeling strong and so glad that I stayed in my room and told my roommate to wrestle me if I leave to cheat last night, I hear they have actually duct taped a person in his room, but I think for differant reasons....they just didn't want him to come out. ( Was that you Jim?)

Today I hiked 5.5 miles at Third ravine and we also did 1st ravine too it was so steep and my knee was aching I so wished I had a mule like at the Grand Canyon, I can't believe it I even saw bike tracks I can't image how one would do this. This is a shot from a differant bat cave, it was so great how the sun could find its was in to all of us sweaty "athletes" in this very confinded space.

I did the salty pool twice I must be coming around I don't avoid it and do a totally hard class instead. Then onto cardio curcuit class 3.3 miles on the eliptical which sucks but there is a podietrist herre now and she knew of my bad ankel and said I woudl hurt myself more if I did my favorite treadmill. Instead of Drs orders it was "Dr ordered" I will risk it and do a machine I like for a forever 45 minute long class. Its is s o difficult already, I made it harder. Then onto total body training oh it burns so bad but you feel so great afterwards. Always afterwards is the best. I just heard a nice saying "Life is like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired."

Tonight we are watching the Biggest Loser and for the first time in my life I am not eating dessert and watching it I am icing my knee and ankle with both legs up on a exercise ball in the aerobics room with others. I am heading back to the room since my butt fell asleep...see that shows you how tired I am it starts at the bottom then works up.

Stop in the name of love....

I love this damn stop sign. The timed portion of this hike we start at about 3000 elevation and end at 4000 feet. It totally breaks you as you do it, but the finally result is sheer love and adoration for this metal pole. I can't have enough pictures of my by it. Damn thing.

Weel I beat my time fro mjust 2 days ago and I didn't think I could push any harder I finished this part 1 hour and 4 minutes for the 4.4 miles. I then had time to go to the overlook and see my accomplishment and its impressive.

This is the overlook another 2.2 miles and I hiked alone so I had to take a cheesey picture of myself, I am not a fan of taking pictures myself but I have a friend who loves it. You know who you are:)

The day was absolutely beautiful and I hope my dad was with me because he would have loved this. I think he would be very proud of me as I break all these barriers.

Today I got alittle discouraged about the stupid scale as a reflection of my success, and I know its not the thing that matters. Well I did feel like leaving campus and cheating but did not. But I was very close. I start justifying that my body is storing these measely 1100-1200 calories since it thinks I am starving as I push it to do 7 hours of exercise every day.Fear not I have not faultered but I had to share this moment of weakness that I am struggling with as I have only lost the 2 pounds and I have ice on my ankle and my knee hurts and I will do this all over again tomorrow and miss my family. I just needed a comfort food or cockytail. I am still plodding on until tomorrow.